When was the last time you thought about what your pastor does when the church doors are closed? Behind the familiar face in the pulpit is a story few truly see.
Pastors are more than voices on Sunday. They share the rhythm of our cities and towns—the early mornings, the local sports games, the familiar grocery aisles. They celebrate our wins and grieve our losses. And through it all, they, too, long for encouragement.
The reality is that many pastors quietly experience loneliness. A 2021 Barna study revealed that 38% of pastors considered leaving ministry in the past year, citing isolation and emotional stress among the top reasons. They can preach to a full sanctuary on Sunday and still feel unseen on Monday. While some pastors thrive with strong support networks, many long for genuine connection beyond the pulpit.
Pastors carry constant pressure to be present for everyone, even when their own needs feel like they must wait. They grieve losses, worry about family and finances and face personal struggles. As leadership expert Thom Rainer notes, “One of the greatest challenges pastors face is finding safe, trusted friendships.”
That is why friendship matters. Pastors need people who see them as more than their title, friends who offer encouragement, honest conversation, laughter or simply companionship. Friendship doesn’t have to be complicated. Small gestures can have a big impact.
A casual coffee can create space for conversation beyond sermons and church responsibilities. During busy seasons, an invitation to a holiday event or gathering can remind your pastor that they are part of the community they serve. Sometimes, just checking in with a text or call to ask, “How are you?” can make a huge difference.
We must not forget the simplest and most powerful way to support our pastors: prayer. Lifting them up in prayer means asking for their strength, wisdom, encouragement and well-being. Prayer is a quiet but profound way to walk alongside them and show care. In doing so, we also carry their burdens, just as Galatians 6:2 reminds us: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
The benefit of these friendships is mutual. When we engage with our pastors as fellow humans, sharing joys, struggles and the everyday rhythms of life, we build a community that is stronger, more resilient and compassionate. A pastor who is cared for can care more freely, listen more deeply and lead with empathy rooted in a lived experience. Caring for those who care for us multiplies grace.
This week, take one small step, pray for your pastor, send a note to say you care or spend time together.
Five ways to support your pastor:
- Pray for them
- Send a quick text or call
- Share a coffee or meal
- Invite them to events
- Acknowledge special moments
Stuart J. Curry is the pastor of Salem MB Church in Bridgewater, South Dakota, and the author of Keeper of the Light: A Christmas Devotional. Known for his blend of humor, honesty and biblical insight, Curry seeks to help people walk with Christ in both the ordinary and extraordinary moments of life. He and his wife Anne have been married 33 years and have 11 children and three grandchildren. Outside of ministry, he enjoys woodworking, family life and the ongoing quest for the perfect cup of coffee.
