We have entered the quarter-way mark of the 21st century, and the United States of America is dealing with an epidemic that has nothing to do with viruses or other traditional pathogens. We are facing an epidemic of loneliness.
The world is more connected than it ever has been, and at the same time, more isolated. The nature of loneliness can be ambiguous, which makes it challenging to find an easy solution. However, we don’t need to overcomplicate it. The church is uniquely situated to play an essential role in breaking this isolation pattern by doing what we are called to do: loving our neighbor.
But who is my neighbor?
The structure of society within the U.S. has changed, and sometimes it can feel like it’s hard to know who our neighbors are.
In its simplest form, our calling to love our neighbors begins with knowing their names. Many communities don’t have venues for natural engagement. We live in a distracted world that puts up barriers to healthy relationships.
Our attention is a driving tool for the digital aspect of economics. Attention-seeking devices cause distraction and isolation, which contribute to our current climate of loneliness. The COVID-19 pandemic-era lockdowns accelerated these pre-existing trends. Many neighborhoods have not brought back all pre-COVID activities, and fewer opportunities exist to naturally engage and be around our neighbors.
Face-to-face daily interactions with others are down from where they were in the last century (U.S. Surgeon General, 2023). Not many years ago, you had to go to the bank to deposit a check (but to be fair, I really don’t miss standing in those lines!). Now, only 8% of adults use in-person bank branches to do the majority of their banking. While many factors come into play, smartphones and the internet have radically changed our behavior patterns.
Loneliness: A public health crisis
Generationally, lower person-to-person interaction has an impact on people of all ages. Generation Z, which includes those born between 1997 and 2012, grew up very safely with their social behaviors; drinking, drug use, reckless driving and teen pregnancy are all down (Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation, 2024). However, they are the least social generation in American history. Thirty to 44-year-olds reported being the loneliest group, with 29% saying they were frequently or always lonely. For seniors experiencing isolation, the lack of personal interaction can feel like one more way the world is moving on without them.
Loneliness has been recognized by the Surgeon General of the United States as a public health crisis. In 2023, an advisory was issued on the importance of social connection and community. Loneliness jeopardizes both mental and physical health, heightening risks for cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, anxiety, depression and premature death at levels comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Nearly half of U.S. adults experienced loneliness before COVID, with certain groups, such as young adults and individuals with low incomes facing particularly acute challenges (U.S. Surgeon General, 2023).
The surgeon general called for a collective national response to invest in bolstering social connection through simple acts, such as shared meals, meaningful conversation and community engagement. Do these acts remind you of anything? I instantly think of the body of Christ! As followers of Jesus, community-building is a natural outcome to practicing our faith with intentionality.
Made in God’s image for relationship
As human beings, we have been created in the image of God and bearing that image means that we are innately relational. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
We were made to be in relationship with God and with one another. As Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-38, “…‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”
We were made to be in relationship with God, who loves us. The overflow of that relationship facilitates our ability to love others. Jesus continued in verses 39-40: “…‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Jesus is clear—each of us holds a unique role in this relational purpose. As we live out the calling Jesus gave us with intentionality, this will help those who are suffering from loneliness.
How living generously can combat loneliness
The heart of relationships is more art than science; it’s not a simple formula that can be achieved in three simple steps. However, the ongoing practice of generosity toward others will make a difference in our communities. Building a rich life with in-depth relationships takes an incredible amount of intentionality. It does not happen passively or automatically.
We can combat loneliness through living generously with one another. Generosity is freely giving something of value, whether tangible or intangible. It isn’t just about giving money. Generosity is far more than giving stuff away; it is sharing our time, attention and love for the benefit of those around us. It can be as simple as being a good listener, reaching out to a loved one or showing kindness in the grocery store. Our calling to love our neighbors begins with knowing their names.
Recently, my uncle found himself missing his family who didn’t see each other regularly, even though they live in the same city. He started a monthly game night to be intentional about spending time with people who are important to him. He is a good example of how building community doesn’t have to be complicated, but it has to be intentional.
Author and researcher Sherry Turkle argues that genuine connection with others begins with the ability to be alone; without solitude, we risk using people to soothe our anxiety rather than forming authentic relationships. She warns that constant connectivity (via digital platforms) can increase loneliness by preventing self-awareness. This insight also applies to life with God and is wildly consistent with what we know about spiritual disciplines. Without solitude, we lose the ability to engage meaningfully with God and others because we lack a grounded sense of who we are: image bearers called to love our neighbors.
Time to act
Let’s lean into our opportunities for community building. Reach out to family and friends. It’s OK to get a pen and paper and send that note in the mail. Practice being screen-free at dinner or when sharing a meal with friends. Distraction is a community killer, and we need community to connect those who are lonely within our churches and to those not part of our faith communities.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you to see ways you can help someone. It may be cliché, but a small act of generosity can have an impact far greater than we can imagine. Acting generously will increase our trust with others and strengthen social connections.
Don’t forget the cyclical nature of caring for one another. As someone is generous towards me, it helps me to want to be generous to others and care for them, which helps build community and combat loneliness. Let’s keep it going, through the love of Jesus. Who can you show generosity to today?
Greg Brock works in higher education and is a member of North Park Community Church in Eugene, Oregon. He recently completed his doctorate in educational leadership and cares deeply about helping others grow closer to Jesus. His wife and four children enjoy living in the Pacific Northwest, visiting national parks, and reading great books together.
