Schedules and commitments—two things that seem to run my life at times. So, when I think about Jesus asking me to make disciples, my heart rate rises, and guilt begins to creep in. “I don’t know how to fit this in, God,” I plead. “There is just so much I am already doing. You understand, right?”
Formalized discipleship agreements can be a wonderful blessing in our lives, and we are commanded in Scripture to be disciples who make disciples. But I tend to make things more difficult than they should be, and that causes me to not even know where to start. Discipleship is intimidating, overwhelming and time-consuming.
I find the book of Titus to be incredibly helpful in increasing my understanding of truth that leads to godliness and trust that God is going to show me how he wants me to disciple others along the way of my life journey.
Trusting in Christ’s work
Discipleship is about making disciples of Jesus who then make more disciples of Jesus. It is directing and equipping others in broad ways to grow closer in their relationships with Jesus, while looking for evidence of the fruit the Holy Spirit is growing in their lives. This may seem complicated at first glance, but over the years I have taken a lot of comfort from Titus.
In Titus 2:11-14, we read: “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.“
These verses reassure me as I seek to live out the command earlier in the chapter to disciple women younger than me. When I focus on living in light of these words, trusting in Christ to work within me, I don’t get wrapped up in making his commandments complicated. His work for me becomes easier as I live my life focusing on saying “no” to the world, living for him and hoping in his return.
Already present
Discipleship doesn’t have to be a formal agreement. For years, I thought I didn’t have anyone discipling me because I couldn’t find a woman willing to commit formally to meeting with me on a regular basis. It was discouraging to say the least.
Then someone mentioned how God had used women who had come and gone in her life to disciple her. When one woman left, God would bring along someone else. God always faithfully had someone around her, helping her to grow in her relationship with Jesus.
That hit me hard. Looking back, I realized the same was true in my life. Women who were living out Titus’ words in their own lives—saying “no” to ungodliness and the world and living self-controlled, godly lives with blessed hope in the assurance of Jesus—were around me at every point in my life.
These women had taught me so much in the moments we did spend together, no matter how informal. Many of them didn’t even know I was learning from them.
This moment changed my life. No longer did I feel like I needed to wait for someone else to commit to teaching me how to grow in my relationship with Jesus. I had them already present, and as we lived our lives together, I could be intentional about learning from them and even express my gratitude to them.
As I began to do this, these women began to realize they were being obedient to Jesus. It encouraged all of us that we can be like Jesus by simply living godly lives and inviting others to join us in our journeys.
Since this moment, I have periodically and intentionally paused and looked around at my relationships, seeing not just who can disciple me but also who I can disciple.
Many wonderful moments of growth have occurred, and I find myself no longer stuck in, “How do I begin?” I just faithfully respond to the Holy Spirit leading me to engage with the people around me who will help me grow in him and vice versa. This has certainly made Jesus’ words true that he will lighten my burden as I follow him.
Six suggestions
If you are struggling to know how to disciple someone, here are some suggestions.
Watch for those small moments of togetherness when you can encourage someone to walk toward Jesus. They are often short, happening in every social situation we find ourselves in. We can easily miss them, so stay vigilant.
Take someone to coffee or ice cream, and listen with curiosity about where they are with Jesus. Encourage and pray for them as Jesus directs you.
Go hiking or on a walk with someone. Often my best moments of discipleship with others have been out in God’s creation where it just seems easier to see his greatness around us.
Be available. In our culture, that’s a big ask. Yet, I have been privileged to see the Holy Spirit grow more fruit in my life and the lives of others when I am available.
If you feel led, agree to meet with others on a regular basis, even if “regular” is understood very loosely. Some of my formalized agreements are simply that we won’t neglect getting together when we can as we raise our families. God has faithfully brought each of us to the other’s mind, and when he does, we make it a point to respond to him by scheduling a time to get together.
Finally, just do something. Don’t keep waiting for the perfect opportunity. God’s already bringing an opportunity to you. Find it and get started. It’s totally worth the journey together.
Michele Fiester is an elder at Renewal MB Church, a USMB church plant in Rapid City, S.D. Fiester, a registered nurse, and her husband, Jon, planted Renewal in 2018. They have two daughters.
