My sixth grade son and I passed the kindergarten drop-off gate this morning as dozens of parents waved to their little ones. A few tearful young friends were coaxed along by teachers and aides.
“It’s strange that kindergartners struggle more at drop-off than older kids,” my son said pragmatically. “We have harder work. They get to do fun stuff, like make tortillas!”
Dropping off your child at church, school, daycare or even Grandma’s can be stressful and a struggle. Separation anxiety can be normal throughout life, especially for young children like those kindergarteners. The Children’s Ministry team at Bethany Church put our heads together this summer and came up with some ideas to help your family have happy drop-offs.
1. We are all more comfortable when we feel prepared. Prepare your child by letting them know where they’ll be going. Be calm and positive as you chat about what to expect. What do they like to do in their class?
2. Pack the diaper bag together; older children can lay out their clothes, get their water bottle and other things ready. If your child is old enough to tell time, remind them what time to be ready to go.
3. A good night’s rest and a healthy, low-sugar meal helps all of us to handle our emotions more calmly.
4. If your child is nervous, text other parents to see if your child can expect to see their friends at church, school or daycare. If possible, know ahead of time who will be teaching your child and prepare them for who they will see.
5. Praying out loud in the car with a nervous child can help them process their emotions before they are in a public setting. Singing is soothing, too.
6. Arrive a bit early or on time so children can get settled without anyone feeling rushed. Being late is stressful for everyone. And if you are running late, try not to rush or stress about it. It happens to all of us.
7. If your family has multiple children in different classes, Mom can drop off one sibling and Dad the other. If a child tends to be more emotional with one parent, the other parent could drop off that child.
8. If your child is new to a class, let a teacher know of any health concerns or allergies.
9. If your child is having a hard time, consider staying until they are more comfortable. No need to rush the process. Sometimes it helps to be the most boring thing in the room so your child’s attention is redirected from their parent to all the fun around them.
10. If you need to check on your child, peek through a window rather than walking in. Coming back in to check on your child can restart separation crying and stress.
11. When you arrive to pick up your child, make sure the teacher sees that you are leaving with your child. Celebrate your child’s wins and ask about their fun class on the drive home. Pray out loud in the car and thank God for being with your child, helping your child to be brave, etc.
12. Whether you’re working, worshiping in your church sanctuary or on a date with your spouse, being away from your child can be stressful for parents too. If you’re worried about your child, pray about it. Take some deep breaths, try to focus your attention on what’s happening around you. Let the Holy Spirit take care of your needs while he also takes care of your child.
Remember that God loves your children even more than you do. He cares for them better than you can. And in all things, God works for the good of our children. One of my favorite verses as a parent is Isaiah 40:11: “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”
Crystal Nachtigall is the children’s pastor at Bethany Church in Fresno, California, She and her husband, Josh, have three children.
