Have you ever been told, “Be happy! You are going to love it!” Perhaps after receiving an odd gift guaranteed to change your life. Or on the first day of a job. Or when you become a new parent. Or upon retirement, leaving a fulfilling career behind.
These encouragers may be annoyingly right, but the shift in perspective is often not instantaneous. It takes time to journey from mismatched perceptions to agreement, especially when emotions are involved.
Mary received a similar message from the angel Gabriel. We often associate Mary with joy, due to her jubilant prophetic song found at the end of Luke 1. The Magnificat may be her end point, but it is not where she starts. There is dissonance between Gabriel’s proclamation and Mary’s reality.
Mary doesn’t bypass the process in order to arrive at the destination sooner. It takes time to form a shared perspective, a frustrating reality for a society addicted to rapid change. The journey to joy, modeled by Mary in Luke 1:26-56, provides a roadmap for a gradual alignment of perspectives so that God’s invitation can be wholeheartedly embraced.
The journey begins when the angel Gabriel appears to Mary saying, “Rejoice, favored one! The Lord is with you!” (v. 28). Mary is told to be joyful, an ineffective tactic for most people, including Mary. If instantaneous joy is the goal, then Gabriel is surely disappointed.
Mary’s responses along the way provide hopeful instruction for our own process of aligning ourselves to God’s vision and purposes.
Perhaps the greeting is an invitation to a process rather than a command requiring instant obedience. When the message includes an upside-down element, additional time may be required to gladly embrace this new reality. However, a seed has been planted that there are good reasons to be joyful.
Those reasons are a tad murky. Luke has just laid out all the evidence why Mary would not be considered favored. A teenage girl from a small village. A nobody from nowhere. God’s view is definitely at odds with Mary’s experience. What God intends to do in and through Mary will transform how she sees herself and the world.
Mary’s journey eventually culminates in joy, but what about the process? Her responses along the way provide hopeful instruction for our own process of aligning ourselves to God’s vision and purposes. Let’s see what the text reveals.
Mary feels her feelings. Scripture records Mary’s feelings after Gabriel’s greeting and joy is noticeably absent (v. 29). Instead, Mary feels confused, troubled, perplexed, bewildered — all indicators that her brain can’t process this unexpected greeting. She doesn’t fake joy to appease this intimidating angel standing in front of her. She authentically sits with her emotion.
Gabriel discerns from her countenance another emotion — fear (v. 30). Given that our brains and bodies cannot hold fear and joy at the same time, Gabriel reassures Mary, reminding her again that she is being honored (v. 30). Mary finds the idea of being favored ludicrous, given her position in the political and religious context.
Small wonder she needs a clear message to break through the confusing mismatch of realities. God is pleased with her and showing kindness with this invitation. Gabriel excitedly explains Mary’s involvement all the way to the grand finale where Jesus will be called the Son of the Most High God and his kingdom will rule forever (v. 31-33).
Mary asks a question. Instead of a joyful recognition that this plan is the Israelites’ answer to prayer, Mary blurts out a question: “How will this happen since I haven’t had sexual relations with a man” (v. 34). Her brain is stuck on the first part of the message. Conceive? Give birth? Wait, what?
This information does not align with what she knows of the birds and the bees. The rest of Gabriel’s eloquent speech is just noise as she fixates on gaps in the facts. She isn’t necessarily opposed to the plan but, understandably, she needs details. So, she asks Gabriel about logistics.
It is a legitimate question, given the unusual proposal, and Gabriel answers her. “The Holy Spirit will come over you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you” (v. 35). The details are sketchy at best, but it is enough to satisfy Mary’s concerns.
Then Gabriel offers her proof of God’s power by relaying the news that her barren relative, Elizabeth, is miraculously pregnant. Two extraordinary conception stories warrant skepticism, thus the reminder that nothing is impossible with God (v. 37).
Notice, though, what Gabriel does not do in response to Mary’s question. He doesn’t call it unbelief, as he did with Zechariah (see Luke 1:20). He doesn’t shame her for voicing her questions. He doesn’t bypass her and go to Joseph instead. He doesn’t tell her to just trust God’s will. He doesn’t expect blind obedience.
Mary gets to ask questions, hear the plan and make a choice to participate. Her concern is validated, and she is provided evidence where doubt and dissonance linger. Mary is not coerced, forced to feel or do something without consent. Instead, she has a voice in the process. God’s interaction with Mary is a foretaste of the counter-cultural way Jesus relates to women.
But there is a lingering question. Will she choose to participate or not?
Apparently feeling joyful is not a necessary requirement for God.
Mary agrees to the plan. Without much fanfare, Mary declares she is ready to proceed. “I am the Lord’s servant. Let it be with me just as you have said” (v. 38). Notably, no feelings are recorded. No exclamation points. And certainly, no joy. Although her heart is not yet aligned with Gabriel’s invitation, she has enough information to make a decision with her head. She accepts the plan as presented.
Apparently feeling joyful is not a necessary requirement for God. Mary remains highly favored regardless of the presence or absence of joy. There is no expectation for a miraculous emotional turnaround at this point.
Granted, she may still be in shock that she is conversing with an angel, but she chooses to proceed, trusting that the emotion will follow. She is given time for heart and head to come into agreement with this unexpected gift. Her short acceptance speech satisfies Gabriel, and he leaves.
Mary carries on with normal tasks. The next thing we know, Mary is hurrying off to be with Elizabeth (v. 39). It was common practice to travel to stay with a pregnant relative, helping until the birth. Amid her own uncertainty and the absence of joy, she focuses on what she knows to do. She goes to meet Elizabeth’s need and perhaps seeing the impossible become possible with her relative will help Mary continue her own alignment process.
Even though she hurries to leave, the journey takes time. Joseph likely arranges for her to travel with a caravan of pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem from Galilee. The 80-mile journey normally takes several days, providing ample time to ponder as she walks. Perhaps it also allows time for the decision made with her head to travel down to her heart. While waiting for joy, she carries on with the tasks in front of her, doing what she knows to do.
Mary leans on her community. Mary shows up on Elizabeth’s doorstep, tired and dusty from a long journey. Understandably, Mary does not arrive rejoicing. Joy shows up elsewhere, though. Elizabeth’s spirit-filled proclamation exudes joy as she declares the very same message Gabriel said a week earlier. “God has blessed you above all women, and he has blessed the child you carry” (v. 42).
Meanwhile John, just over six months in utero, is doing somersaults at the sound of Mary’s voice. Luke uses the Greek word skirtao to describe what is happening in Elizabeth’s womb (v. 44). Apparently, the image that word conjures is of cows being let out of their stalls in the spring. If you lack first-hand knowledge of this phenomenon, watching YouTube videos of exuberant cows exiting barns will certainly lift your spirits.
Between John jumping for joy and Elizabeth’s joyful outburst, they are helping Mary see and more fully receive God’s promises. Mary is reminded of her identity as favored, a total reversal of her normal experience.
Her community confirms what is difficult for her to see herself. She begins to comprehend what her confusion obscured, and the mismatch of realities shrinks a bit further. Their joyful response sparks something within Mary, calling forth her own joy from deep within.
Advent provides space for the process to unfold, for us to become more aligned with God’s kingdom perspective.
Mary finally experiences joy! Twenty verses and a road trip later, Mary rejoices! Joy bubbles up and she erupts in prophetic song. “With all my heart I glorify the Lord! In the depths of who I am I rejoice in God my savior” (v. 46-47). When Mary proclaims the greatness of the Lord, the Greek word is megaluna, to magnify or make something bigger. Like her belly, her soul is swelling as she comprehends the magnitude of what God is doing through her.
Mary’s perspective is transformed into greater alignment with God’s point of view, including how she sees herself. She is no longer defined by her insignificance but by the favor she has found in God. But in her ever-expanding praise, she sees how her experience is a sign of transformation on an even greater scale. “He shows mercy to everyone, from one generation to the next, who honors him as God” (v. 50). A major reversal is underway where God’s justice and mercy will prevail (v. 54). Mary catches a glimpse of the magnitude of what God is doing. The world is being turned right side up and she is filled with joy!
Advent is a season of expectant waiting culminating in the joy of Christmas. Advent provides space for the process to unfold, for us to become more aligned with God’s kingdom perspective. Like Mary, we are invited to sit with our feelings and ask questions. We have a voice and a choice so that we can fully participate with God.
Amid uncertainty and mismatched realities, we continue to do the things we know to do, drawing on the strength of our community to remind us of God’s promises. It takes time for Mary to wrap her head around the magnitude of what God is doing and accept her role in the grand plan. Her journey took her from dissonance to alignment, culminating in joy.
There are good reasons to be joyful. May we join the journey.
Cheryl Dueck Smith is an Assistant Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fresno Pacific Biblical Seminary. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist at Link Care in Fresno, California. Smith is married and has two sons.
