As an introvert, solitude comes naturally for me. It is with great ease and pleasure that I steal away to be alone. There are nuances to solitude, and I like all of them. I like being by myself. And I like being by myself with blessed Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
It’s the latter that comes with the spiritual discipline of solitude: the intentional action of making space to be present with God. Solitude is modeled in scripture. Jesus had rhythms of prioritizing time alone where he went off in prayer with his Father.
My own rhythms of solitude vary throughout the calendar year, largely dependent on what the Kansas weather holds. During the colder winter months, I find myself inside near a window with coffee and books and a favorite devotional app. When the lights of the Christmas tree twinkle, I love to sit and be in the glow of them and stare at the ornaments that are filled with symbols and memories. I feel solitude in my soul.
The seasons of solitude
My favorite moments of solitude are outside in my backyard. I’ve created areas of sacred spaces for me to sit down, again often with coffee, and linger in delighting in God and being delighted in as a daughter of the Great I Am.
In the summer months, my time of solitude is earlier while the birds gather at the feeders. When I linger and intentionally listen and look around, I count numerous species and learn their musical songs. The neighborhood bunny comes and nibbles under the feeder in my presence. The cotton ball clouds float gently overhead, and the leaves rustle with the Spirit of God. I feel the presence of God deep within my soul.
Solitude creates space for me to be present to myself, to the world around me and allows me to be attentive to God’s presence and deep love in my life.
Solitude during lifequakes
However, solitude isn’t always this magical and whimsical.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t also write about the solitude experienced in times of desolation and loneliness. Those lifequake moments that shift all the ground underneath you, that leave you broken and gasping for breath.
Unfortunately, in these instances, we are forced into solitude. Remember the nuances mentioned above? Solitude that can closely resemble loneliness and the solitude that has us intentionally seeking time with our Savior. At these times, the spiritual practice of solitude becomes a lifeline. That breath. That one next step. That act of faith.
I have found in my work as a spiritual director, as well as my own experiences in life and faith communities, the people in our spheres often lack the ability to provide comfort and empathy in times of our loneliness. I dare say not everyone, and I have been blessed with dear friends and family who have gone the distance with me, through all the muck and mire.
But often and ironically, people in our faith communities can be uncomfortable with pain and the loneliness of others. People disappear over time when the difficult journey is long. Well-meaning individuals offer empty platitudes. Others spiritually bypass the situation, which happens when someone lacks the listening and empathy to truly be present in the pain of others and instead says something positive about God to move the conversation away from the uncomfortable present. This avoidance with God-praise icing leaves people hurting and feeling lonely.
The spiritual act of solitude is encouraged here and becomes the needed lifeline, helping us breathe and exist. As I reflect on the life of Jesus, I see the nuances in his own times of practicing solitude. The established rhythm of stealing away for sacred time with his Father. The moments when he could be by himself and pause from the clamoring crowds and expectations. And the times when solitude was his lifeline as he walked through and anticipated the hardest of lifequakes. The solitude practiced during his times of loneliness.
The stories of our lives, the lives of those in our communities and the biblical stories that we read, are filled with the highs and lows of our lived experiences. The mountains and the valleys. The ascents and the descents.
The Psalms especially are filled with brave and vulnerable expressions and teach us how to embrace all of life. Eugene Peterson wrote that the Psalms give voice to the entire human experience. They teach us to pray through all the “help me” and “thank you” moments. Praying through the Psalms during solitude practice can be a good avenue as you begin practicing your own rhythms of solitude.
When I think of the Psalms, I need to be reminded that the original writing in the Hebrew filled the Psalms with a much rougher expression of the authors’ feelings and experiences. There are pleas and laments. Hebrew poetry highlights the ascents and descents.
El Camino de Santiago: A pilgrimage of solitude
In June 2024, I walked a little over 100 kilometers of an ancient pilgrimage in northern Spain called El Camino de Santiago. These 71(ish) miles walked over a week were filled with sacred steps in the beautiful Galicia region.
I hadn’t planned to go on a pilgrimage in 2024. However, in a season of much transition, coming out of and through some of my own personal lifequakes, an opportunity arose for me to join a pilgrimage group through Cru ministries.
This pilgrimage taught me more about the spiritual practice of solitude. For the first time, I traveled internationally by myself. This was my pilgrimage. And while I experienced community with my group, each of us was on our own personal pilgrimage filled with intentional moments of solitude, attending to our lived human experiences.
The section of the Camino we hiked is very hilly, and I was emotionally and spiritually doing some heavy lifting. Along The Way, I was walking my own ascents and descents, daily reminded of the Psalms.
I carried two round stones, both of which were left in a town along the Camino called Finisterre, once believed to be the end of the earth. Stones representing the burdens of fellow pilgrims laid everywhere along the pilgrimage path.
In the quietness of my thoughts and heart, I wanted to hear the stories those stones represented. I wanted to meet the people practicing solitude and stealing away for time with God.
There was solidarity on the path. And there was community in it all. We spoke different languages, and we would all return to our own lives back home. But we traveled together on this path, and it was a truly sacred experience to walk in that much care of others.
An invitation
How can we, in our corporate faith communities, teach and practice the spiritual discipline of solitude?
Our churches are filled with lonely people. If you are one of them, I invite you into the spiritual practice of solitude with your Savior, to learn his ways of stealing away into quiet spaces with God.
And I invite us as a community to share with one another about our times of solitude.
How are we growing and experiencing the presence of God through the spiritual practice of solitude?
Chandelle Claassen is a trained spiritual director and USMB LEAD Coach. She has her M.Ed. in Neuroscience and Trauma from Tabor College and is passionate about coming alongside people to live transformed lives. Her two sons and a soon to be daughter-in-law, all attend Tabor College. She and Russ live in North Newton, Kansas, where she enjoys rhythms of solitude.
