Not long ago I met an old friend for breakfast. We had a wonderful time catching up and reminiscing over days gone by. As we talked, I was reminded of the different paths people take in life. My friend and I used to participate in church youth group activities together, talk about faith and enjoy conversation from a relatively similar perspective.
This particular morning the conversation flowed like it used to—with one significant difference. Years ago, my friend had walked away from faith, at least faith as I know it, and our perspectives of God, life and eternity are no longer as similar. Both of us have been molded and shaped, just in different directions.
One of the things that churches and pastors struggle with today is how to disciple young adults. Our churches are filled with children’s pastors, youth pastors, lead pastors and lay people that pour love, teaching and time into children, youth and young adults.
The lives of children and teens may show evidence of following Jesus and church involvement. Yet, these pastors and congregations are facing serious challenges and discouragement as they watch young adults leave not only their church, but possibly their faith.
As concerning as it is, this is nothing new. My friend’s life story confirms that. Additionally, 30 years ago, I sat in college and seminary classes discussing the clear crisis of young people graduating (leaving) the local church when they graduated high school or college. The questions were: Why are they leaving? What can we do to get them to stay involved?
There were many theories, and most of them likely contained at least a little bit of truth. However, there were no easy answers. At the same time, there was an expectation that those leaving the church would return once they had families of their own. The same questions are being asked today, but without the expectation of a return.
In many youth ministry circles, the questions have moved from, “How do we grow as a youth ministry and then keep young people involved in the church after high school?” to, “How do we not lose them in high school and keep some of them after they graduate?” Pastors are searching for answers.
Navigating the challenges pastors face in discipling young adults is a daunting and possibly undefinable task. Three of the challenges I observe include isolation, polarization and a lack of space to search.
1. Isolation
In our phone-centric social media driven culture, we have become more and more isolated. We enjoy our space and do not appreciate it when others enter our physical spaces. It is harder and harder to find the high school hangouts. When not participating in an organized activity, teenagers are staying at home more than ever. Contact with their friends and the world is through the video game headset and social media. It isn’t just young people. As a culture, the communities I’ve observed are less and less personally engaging and hospitable.
Isolation is not simply avoiding all contact with other people. It can also manifest itself in such rigorous schedules that there is no room for in-depth personal interaction and consistent community.
Isolation is not simply avoiding all contact with other people. It can also manifest itself in such rigorous schedules that there is no room for in-depth personal interaction and consistent community. Both types of isolation pose a challenge to gathering as the church as we are accustomed to. Additionally, young adults no longer come to a pastor or church for help, advice and answers. They have everything they need at their fingertips, thanks to their phones.
Amidst the challenges of isolation, pastors can find encouragement and hope in relationships. The ultimate goal is to do our part in making individuals and families feel loved and cared for. This can happen at a church service, but in today’s culture that is only the smallest of starting points.
Personal communication, encouragement, checking in and showing up at events can go a long way in building meaningful relationships. It may be uncomfortable at first, but if pastors and individuals in the church take the lead in reaching out via phone/social media, they can instigate conversations. Digital conversations can even lead to in-person coffees and lunches.
2. Choosing sides
A second challenge is the polarization of our society. We are expected to choose sides on everything from what’s happening in our backyard to politics to, well, just about everything. Everyone has an opinion or perspective and is encouraged to voice it without discernment nor compromise.
You must take a side. You are either for or against me. It is personal on every level.
If someone does not agree with what has been expressed, then one of them must be wrong—the one I do not agree with. Civil discussion, compromise, entering conversation with humility trying to understand another’s point of view and having an openness to changing one’s opinion is only mildly tolerated, if at all. You must take a side. You are either for or against me. It is personal on every level.
This type of thinking has infiltrated our churches and is creating fear and hard lines in the sand regarding what a “real” Christian must believe, say and do in life, faith and politics. Kindness and compassion for the “other side” are often seen as weakness and a softening of principles. Things are much more complicated than our dualistic polarized lines can allow for.
When it comes to polarization, the hope and encouragement to pastors rests in contentment and confidence in Christ. It is okay to have differences of opinions and perspectives. The common denominator is still Jesus.
There is a huge need for followers of Jesus to step up and take the lead in bridging the gap between the two sides. Which two sides? Any and all of them. We are called to stand against fear, to stand in the gap, to be peace makers, to love our enemies and to show we are Christians by our love.
3. Space for questions
The third challenge is that young adults are open, curious and eager for truth. This is a great quality, but it means in their search for truth there must be space to ask questions, push back and explore a gamut of ideas.
When young adults ask questions and curiously offer different ideas and perspectives, they are often met by a church that wants to feed them an answer, condemn their differences and quiet their questions.
When young adults ask questions and curiously offer different ideas and perspectives, they are often met by a church that wants to feed them an answer, condemn their differences and quiet their questions. If not allowed to explore and engage the depths of their search for truth, young adults will leave and find a place that will embrace them.
Pastors can find hope and be encouraged by this opportunity to interact with people in search of the truth. The reality is none of us have a corner on the market of all truth. The apostle Paul taught us this. We are constantly learning, growing and maturing in our faith and it is still molding who we are. Are there certain things that we can all agree on? Yes, as Christians we find there are some common creeds and beliefs that we stand firm on.
The church is in such an amazing place to be able to handle questions and curiosities because it is made up of people seeking, wrestling and searching for the same truth. Sometimes our questions are different or come at different times.
When we hold a place for others to interact with their questions, doubts and differing thoughts, we hold space for God to provide answers. It is essential to use the knowledge and wisdom of Scripture that God has given to guide us within that space. It is also essential that we do not let differing opinions destroy our relationship and ability to listen and learn from others.
There is hope and encouragement for pastors and other church leaders. Shifts are constantly happening within our culture. While this means pastors and congregations constantly need to shift, it might actually be right in their wheelhouse.
As shepherds and people of the Word, pastors are primed to equip young adults with a listening ear, a love for people, spiritual disciplines including the much-needed silence and solitude, along with the simple truth of Jesus to stand on. Pastors and church leaders must face the challenge of discipling young adults head on with a dive inward. There must be a symbiotic relationship between knowledge of who God is as given in Scripture and the work of the Holy Spirit.
All too often pastors and congregations rely on their knowledge, programs and structure to provide the discipleship young adults need in their lives. Yes, these are necessary elements, but the real needs might be addressed in intentionally reaching out, having open conversations, providing space for questions and doubts, humbly letting God do the inside work and seeing each person as someone fully loved by Triune God.
Russ Claassen is the Southern District Conference youth minister, a mobilizer with the USMB NextGen Leadership Pipeline and a trained spiritual director. Claassen graduated from Tabor College in 1994 with a bachelor’s degree in elementary education and from Denver Seminary in 1999 with a master’s degree in youth and family ministry. he has 20 years of experience working with youth and families in the church and camp ministry settings. He and his wife, Chandelle, have two sons and live in Newton, Kansas.
